Unlike when I go to the Emmys, Neal wasn't with me, so getting ready wasn't nearly as fun. It's hard not having my side-kick! Gary and Cyrus aren't into celebrity stalking as much as Neal or me -- they actually watched the Oscars! (By the way, who won???)
And keep in mind that we arrived at 4 p.m. and I left at 1 a.m. That's nine hours of open-bar time. 'Nuff said!
Trueblood's Sam Trammell (Sam Merlotte) was great! So was his wife. Loved her dress (sorry, no pic!) - she said that Sam didn't, and I told her straight men have no taste. 
Cyrus with Michelle Rodriguez (Avatar/Lost) and ... someone else who is probably famous that I don't know!
The outside 'smoking'/drinking/eating area
One of my FAVORITE people ever! Betty White was so nice! I told her I've been a fan since The Mary Tyler Moore Show. "You couldn't possibly have been born yet!" (HA!) I also told her that I live in Oak Park (her home town) and that I think she's a national treasure!
Perez Hilton took the time to put his Blackberry away for two seconds to pose with me. I told him that I read his blog, but I didn't say I was a 'fan' of his 'cuz A.) I'm not. He's a jerk. And B.) I want his job!
Shawn Pyfrom (Desperate Housewives) was the guy I saw all night - there's always one. LOVE him. Soon after I took this, I saw him smoking outside. "That's a bad habit!" He agreed, and said he'd quit - until his girlfriend cheated on him and they broke up. Paul: That bitch! I'm so sorry!
Shawn: Thanks. Well, it was after I told her that I told some other girl I loved her.
Paul: Huh?
Shawn: Well, I was drunk.
Paul: When you told the girl you loved her, or when you confessed that to your girlfriend?
Shawn: Both.
Paul: Okay. Totally understandable. But she's still a bitch.
Looking delicious! And the chocolate looked okay too. Believe it or not, I had not one piece. 
Kara DioGuardi (American Idol) was nice. Later, when I saw/bothered her at her table, she stared looking around and asked me where her husband went. "I have no idea who he even is. He's probably mad that you keep drooling over that blond guy every week on the show!" 
Katie Price and me. I always skip items that Perez Hilton and and the D-Listed guy write about her 'cuz I have no idea who she is. But when I read she was going to be there, I Googled her to see who she is. Apparently, she's a British celebrity/former model. And she and Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham hate each other. 
US Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir
Hayden Panettiere (Heroes) took this picture of us. (Could my skin look any more sun-damaged next to hers???) She was fun - I ran into her a lot and we always chatted. The funniest was when we were waiting in line for a port-a-potty together (okay - these are the nicest 'port-a-pottys' EVER) and we saw two guys coming out of one together. Hayden: I hope you guys cleaned up in there after you finished!
The room!
Sharon Osbourne, Kelly Osbourne and Nicole RitchieRight after I took this, I asked Nicole to turn for a picture. She looked at me and turned away. I then - very deliberately stepped on the train of her dress. She again looked at me, and I said, "So very sorry." 
About to make Nicole trip!
About to make Nicole trip!
I'm not sure who the guy looking at me is, but Perez has almost the same photo on his site. Back outside, I see my pal Shawn Pyfrom smoking again. This time I bummed one from him. (Please, no lectures - I had a slip-up!)
Shawn: But you quit!
Paul: It's okay.
Shawn: I feel bad!
Paul: Don't!
Paul: Don't!
Shawn: Hey, do you know my friend Chase?
::: there he was - Gossip Girl's Chase Crawford! OMFG! :::
Paul: Hi, Chase!
Chase: Hi! How are you?
Chase: Hi! How are you?
The three of us talked and smoked for a while. I asked them if they hated Perez Hilton.
Chase: Not really. He's pretty nice to me.
Shawn: I don't really read his crap.
Paul: Good for you!
Chase Crawford and mePaul: Wow. I thought I looked okay until I see myself standing next to you in this picture.
Chase: You look fine.
HA!
Back in the main room, I wandered past Elton John's table. Betty White is on his right, and True Blood's Ryan Kwanten (Jason Stackhouse) is to his left.
Admittedly ... over-served, I swear Sir Elton and I are making eye contact. Did he nod me over? I don't know. (Let's go with that!)
Paul: Hi. You look like you're afraid of me.
Elton: Not at all! Are you having fun? (AS HE KISSES ME ON BOTH CHEEKS!)
Paul: Oh my God! Yes! It's such an honor to be here and I can't believe I'm meeting you ... ::: gush, gush, gush :::
I asked for a photo and he promised - when he 'makes the rounds' he'd be happy to oblige.
I ran back to the table (where I just stop back to eat once in a while) to share the good news with Gary and Cyrus. Gary has explained to me - over and over - you DON'T ask Elton for a photo.
Gary: To me, when you ask a celebrity for a photo, it changes the relationship.
Paul: Relationship? I'm not looking to be their friend! I want the damn photos!
Sure enough, Sir Elton John came through! And I got some more kisses from him. Gary must have decided to throw his 'rule book' out, 'cuz there I was - following Gary and Cyrus with their camera as they chased Elton down! Thankfully for them, I got the photo.
After a costume change, I got another photo with Johnny Weir - his publicist took a blurry one earlier in the night. 
I asked Matthew Morrison (Mr. Schuester from Glee) what being on the show is like. "Like winning the lottery!" Or maybe it was Cory Monteith - Finn Hudson from Glee who told me that. Someone did, and I'm sure he was from Glee. I think. Did I mention there was an open bar?
Glee's Cory Monteith 
Salma Hayek is gorgeous, but like Nicole Ritchie, she didn't seem too interested in posing with me. Luckily for her, I decided to spare her dress! Paul: Hi!
Heidi: Hey there.
Victoria:
Paul: Posh! You look so young in person! Not that you're not young! But ... you know. Actually you both do.
Victoria: Thanks.
Paul: Heidi, I've met you before at the Emmys. I'm sure you don't remember, but I stepped on your dress accidentally (really!) one year and your husband (Seal) kind of ... well, he wasn't too happy!
Heidi: Oh, that's funny! He's not here, so don't worry. (Apparently, David Beckham wasn't there, either :-(
I gushed on and on and on ... and when I said good-bye, Heidi said, "It was nice to see you again. And thank you for all of those nice compliments!"
Back outside, I ran into Eric McCormack (Will and Grace), his wife - and I think John Waters. I'm kicking myself for not getting a photo of John - if it was, indeed, him. I'm pretty sure it was. Damn!
Eric McCormack, the In-N-Out burgers and me
Simon Cowell was pretty nice to me, despite his facial expression.Paul: It's weird, but I'm finding myself agreeing with almost everything you say this season.
Simon: That's because you're smart.
Paul: Not a great group this year, huh.
Simon: Terrible.
I kept seeing some guy who I knew was famous, so I finally went up to him.
Paul: I keep seeing you and I know you're famous. Who are you?
JC Chasez: ::: crickets :::
Some randon guy: He was in N' Sync!
I've alwas liked Rob Lowe. I saw him when he arrived and I yelled, "Don't leave Brothers & Sisters"! I was deterimed to be photographed with him. Even though Gary would probably say it would hurt our relationship. But I was confident it wouldn't. I had faith in us!
So when I happened upon his table - with many available chairs, I sat one seat away from him. But I'd had too many diet Cokes in a row and my liquid courage was waning. I was about to talk to him, when he got up and walked away. Like any good stalker, I followed, but then I spotted Jason Lewis - Jared Smith from Sex and the City.
He was a sweetheart. He posed with me, and even thanked ME! "Without fans like you, I'd be nowhere." LOVE HIM! And he confirmed what I had read - he'll be in the next Sex and the City movie. Yay!
Jason LewisThen I saw Lance Bass (N 'Sync) and Josh Groban - not together!
Lance Bass
Josh Groban
$5 to anyone who can tell me who these people are. Especially her. (No, it's not Heidi Montag!) His name is Cody and hers is Cassidy and I'm sure they're not Kathy LeeGifford's kids. (Ha). She claimed to be on some ABC show. I didn't care - I was hanging out with them, Kelly Osbourne and Johnny Weir for a while and they were fun. Cody and I did shots, you know, 'cuz that's how we kids roll. It was at that time that Kelly Osbourne asked me to watch her stuff while she took pics with fans - other fans. (Why did she ask me? Your guess is as good as mine!) She left her purse, iPhone and camera just sitting there while no one was around. Now look, I'm a good guy - but even I was tempted - just for a moment to look at her photos and scroll though the phone numbers on her cell. Finally - after 5 minutes - I went over to her.
Paul: Kelly! You shouldn't just leave your stuff out like that. Anyone could take it.
Kelly: Oh my God! You're right. I'm terrible about that sort of thing!
Moments later she returned and announced that they (they = not me) were going to the Vanity Fair party. Bitch!
But then I saw my BFFs Shawn and Chase again, so I felt better.
Paul: Okay guys, I have to admit - I think Desperate Housewives has gotten awful, and I stopped watching Gossip Girls a while ago. They didn't seem to mind. True friends don't care about that stuff! ;-)
Chase yelled, "G'night Paul!" On his way out of the party later. That kind of made my year. That's not too sad, is it?
BFFs!
I spotted Hayden Panettiere and Ryan Kwanten again - so I got in for a pic. I laugh everytime I see Ryan - even though he's a God - but I'll never forget Neal telling him at the Emmy's that he's 'so small' (not as muscular) in person. He must be a great actor 'cuz he is timid in 'real life' - nothing like his charchter on True Blood!
Paul: Awww, thanks. This may be my new Facebook profile pic.
Ryan :
Hayden: Ewwwww, that really endears you to me. (Heavy on the sarcasm).
Maybe Gary was right. Maybe Hayden and I won't be best friends now?
Ryan Kwanten, me and Hayden Panettiere
Never got any of this stuff -- too busy!As soon as I realized I'd never gotten my picture with Rob Lowe, I headed back to his table (after another vodka soda!) and just went for it.
Paul: Hi! Big fan. I yelled to you when you came in. Are you really leaving Brothers and Sisters?
Rob: I'm afraid so.
Paul: 'Cuz they're giving you shitty storylines?
Rob: Well ... it's just time to move on.
Paul: Well good luck in whatever you do next.
Rob Lowe - finally!As I was walking back to my table (code for getting another drink!) I spotted Miley Cyrus. I'm not a fan - she really bothers me - but I just had to ask for a photo.
Paul: Hi! I'm a big fan. I mean, I know I'm kind of old to be a fan of yours, but ...
(Not a total lie - I like Party in the USA - but I didn't know it was a Miley song until I went to download it from iTunes!)
Miley: It's okay.
Paul: Can I get a photo of us?
Miley: Ya, fine.
Miley's friend: I'll take it.
Miley: No. I'm really good a this.
So she took my camera, held it out, snapped a pic, handed me back my camera without another look and turned away. I wanted to tell her that I think her dad is hot, but I decided not to.
Just being Miley!
I should mention that Grace Jones performed and she was really good, but I wasn't all that into it.
Grace JonesBut as I was walking back to the table, I noticed Kathy Griffin in front of me.
Paul: Kathy!
Kathy: Hi!
Paul: What are you doing?
Kathy: We're causing a scene! (I suddenly realized that she was at the end of a conga line, behind Johnny Weir and his BFF Kelly Osbourne.
Paul: Can I join?
Kathy: Sure!
I looked around for the cameras - I was sure she had her film crew there. If you watch My Life on the D List, you know this is exactly the sort of stunt she would include in her show. No luck - but it was fun anyway!
Kathy Griffin - inviting me to join in!She and her group (Johnny, Kelly, etc.) landed at some open seats at our table, of all places! Of course, I had to talk to her again - like I have so many times at the Emmys.
Paul: I tell you this every time I see you, but I'm from Oak Park and I used to sometimes sub for your niece.
Kathy: She's in college now.
Paul: Ugh. I'm 100!
Kathy loves her gays!Paul: I just met Miley Cyrus - she wasn't that nice. (I showed her that pic).
Kathy: She's a little bitch. But Johnny Weir is the real deal.
Paul: Ya, we were smoking earlier (SLIP UP!) He's great. And look at Grace Jones. Nothing is jiggling!
Kathy: I know. And we just figured out she's like 63!
Like I said ... All in all, it was a fabulous night and an amazing party! I hope that Gary invites me next year :-)
I'm sure I'll remember lots of great anecdotes as soon as I 'publish' this. Oh, well. And if there's a way to spell-check this, I can't figure it out, so please excuse any typos.
Later ... Thanks to Peg for proofing this :-)
Thanks for reading.
xxoo
Paul
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